Long time

Well, its been a few months since I've been back here. And a lot has gone on. I think I needed a break. I can't promise I'll be back regularly, but I wanted to come back and update on life.

Life, which has been a complete adventure lately. Full of mostly good things. I've fallen in love. We worked together in DC (we were stuck there for a week working a really boring convention), and have become inseparable. Well, except for now, as he's stuck in Mexico for work. It has been an amazing almost two months at this point. The time has flown by, and we feel like we've known each other for ages. Its a big refreshing after all that I've been through with guys in the past. I'm happy to not be dealing with the constant disappointments that I've lived through lately. It seems we never get tired of talking to each other, and cover any and every topic. It feels good, it feels different, and I'm amazingly happy.

Work is less than fun lately. I'm ready to be done and moving on. The days in the office are tedious, and because I'm back in school, the chance to head out on the road isn't there any longer. I'm searching ads and looking for options in a more culinary focus field. I'm also starting research on starting my own baking company. I spent my weekend making candy corn (which were such fun - its like playing with sugar playdough!) and peanut butter balls for halloween treats. And got to thinking, well, maybe I can sell this stuff. Along with Christmas cookies, and the other candies I make (I'm going to try molded caramels this upcoming weekend). People have always mentioned to me that I should, so I'm going to start researching and trying to come up with a name for myself and design features and website and all that fun stuff. I'm excited about the new adventure this could be. And hope I can make a reality out of it.

So, hopefully I can make a better stab about being here a bit more regularly again. Its been nice to have a break, but I miss my writing and I miss your comments. (on the knitting front, I have six projects on the needles right now - a baby blanket, the Central Park Hoodie, the Somewhat Cowl, the Sizzle Tank, a cowl, and a swirl scarf... and I need to get another scarf made to match my new winter coat... But the last thing I need to buy is more yarn... the corner of my living room has literally been taken over by my stash.)

Happy Middle of the week!

A birthday sugar rush

My birthday was a giant sugar rush, from start to finish.

I awoke to chocolate covered strawberries being delivered by room service, accompanied by a bottle of bubby and chocolate covered cheesecake too. (I only ate a few of the strawberries to start my day and have the rest waiting for me to enjoy later today). There is an interesting story of me ignoring the knocks on the door while I chatted with the friend who had sent the tray of goodies and having security barging in the door thinking I was laying dead or something in the room and not just ignoring the door (thinking it was just room service wanting to make my bed).

I followed that up with a waffle, covered in what the mass market refers to as maple syrup (aka maple flavored corn syrup).

I got to work, and was greeted by two dozen of these:

(cupcakes from the Cupcakery)

I was mostly good though, and only at a 2.25 of them over the course of the day. :) My favorite was the german chocolate (capped by pecans and filled with caramel-y coconut filling).

When I got back to my room last night, I was met by cookies and milk, left by the hotel in honor my birthday. I knew at that point that I had consumed too much sugar over the course of the day and refrained from indulgence.

Tomorrow starts the final run of the conference and load out. I'm excited to return home and sleep in my own bed again. I am wishing I could take a day or two off to recover, rather than the diving right into the next show that I have on the burners. At least the money is better when doing another show.

And for now, I count down the minutes until an unlikely nap.... I should have partied harder of my birthday to feel this tired...

Staying entertained...

I'm trying my hardest to stay entertained while here in Dallas. Aside of the speech comments that keep me entertained (did you know that your mascara is as much of a necessity as bread and water??) I've managed to fit in some fun as well. I saw the Aerosmith/ZZ Top

concert last weekend. It was the first time in a long time that a lighting and video design actually made me say wow. And at several points during the show.

I've also had the chance to attend a bubbly wine tasting, which was quite entertaining. I sampled quite a few enjoyable bottles, and several I hope to never taste again. It was held at a small wine shop and winery here in Dallas -

yes, they make their own wine there. They don't grow the grapes, but rather process and blend them and bottle three varieties of wine. Paired with some exotic cheeses, it made for an enjoyable night.

I also got to sneak away last night and do some low key cooking. Nothing stressful, but a quick salad of watermelon, jicama and heirloom tomatoes and a quick saute of yukon gold potatoes with a touch of garlic and lemon. The hosts provided a nicely sweet and spicy grilled pork tenderloin. Making a perfect light, yet filling summer meal. The best part being fresh veggies after weeks of eating restaurant and (not so good) catering food.

I also managed to finish off a hat for mom, and mailed it off. It fits and is a great color for her. Alas she did comment that it makes her look bald... but it made me look bald when I tried it on, and I have hair that hangs half way down my back. I've finished up the first of my socks and cast on for the second. I think the next pair I do will be two at a time though. We'll see. I've got lots of things I've recently added to my I want to make this list. Its getting unwieldy!

We're on our second to last run of the show. Day one is almost over with. At the moment we're in the drawn out part where I think somewhere in the area of 1500 women are dancing across the stage. And man are they excited to be here... I'm in an odd place about it. Its my last week here in Texas after 4 weeks with the same people, in the same hotel room, on the same stage, so it will be odd to say goodbye come next monday. Also, tomorrow is my 31st birthday, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'll be stuck doing set changes and wearing a tux (with tails) to celebrate. I think the biggest part of my celebration with be going out to get some breakfast before show call. I do wonder what this next year of life has in store for me... a return to school for the fall quarter? or a big show that will allow me to work for a bit and save the money to pay for school without loans and debt? Huh, I think I'm thinking too much about what is maybe, perhaps, might be going to happen...

Shine On!

Or so says the motto of this convention. We finished up the first round of events (only four more repeats to go). There were over 5000 women present, and will be that many at each of the following four too. And some of them earn commission checks of over $40k a month. Selling make up, and encouraging others to sell more makeup. Its craziness. They have a formal awards night, where the women break out all of the jewels (in some cases, it looks like they wear everything they've ever won from their sales all at once), and their fancy dresses (which range from the overly sparkled, to the bad bridesmaids dresses and former prom spectaculars) and walk across the stage and get crowned queen in some cases. Its all a very interesting thing to watch. Or in my case hide in my corner from as to not get trampled by women who are very excited to be up on stage (a phenomenon I don't understand).

I did get quite a bit of knitting done. I finished up the hank of yarn I had purchased to make my cowl, only to realize I need more yarn. So, I'm hoping that they still have that color at the store I bought it at. And I started in on a hat for mom (seeing as I did promise her hats back in March). I'm hoping to finish up the hat and get the sock done (and then not get second sockitis).

Aside of the normal everyday issues of working through my craziness and learning the fine art of trusting and faith and letting go, life continues on. I'm trying to figure out plans to get home to Boston for mid September (having not seen more than my immediate family in almost five years, I figure I should make every effort to appear at the upcoming wedding). And wondering what work has in store for me for the coming months.

I feel like I have so many thoughts of things I want to express when I am not near my computer. And then when I am near to it, I promptly can't remember any of the things I wanted to write. Such is the life of the never ending days.

Bullet points:
* I've opened a moving light hospital this week... its called Moving Light Memorial General. I have all of my spare lights broken at one point this week. And not all of them are fully repaired just yet.

* I've had moments of complete despair and hatred for my job this week, combined with moments of this is why I enjoy doing this for a living.

* I've met a great new friend, who is so like me and so different from me at the same time its uncanny. And several more whom I really enjoy.

* I have my next position lined up - and get to work the weekend following my return to Chicago on a job there. Not the call to join Sir Paul at Fenway Park I was hoping for, but its still work. And in all actuality joining Sir Paul might have been a bit awkward, as my ex Rick (who I lived with for years in Vegas) and C are both on the crew. Which should be interesting enough in and of itself. I sure hope they don't befriend each other or anything of that sort... Or even talk, as conclusions I came to about my time with R that C knows about never need to be told to R.

* I started working on the All Over Town Cowl, and I think I'm going to run out of yarn before I'm done. Sad. I'll have to start searching for the colorway I have so I can finish it. I love what I chose, and its the perfect color combo for me.

* I look very masculine when in tails. (the formal wear that is)

* Eating huge meals late at night is a very bad idea and means I sleep horribly and wake up in a bad mood.

* In 14 days I turn 31. ACK!

So I think thats about it. At least for this evening.

Dallas.... week one

I'm losing track of the days. I can't remember what day of the week it is. We're working days that start at 7 am and end around 11 pm. Its been... well, interesting. The personalities of the locals get to me in some cases. But luckily, for the most part, I enjoy working with the show staff and have found some new friends in being here. I've had some good food, I've had some long nights, I've had some moments where I wanted to run away screaming, I've had moments where I have screamed (although not at anyone, just at the situation and it was more of just a guttural release), I've had moments where I've seen that everything really is bigger in Texas (we had 7 ounce freeze pops the other day).

I've been told I'll have tales to tell of the formal wear that the women wear to the awards banquet. I'm hoping I'll have tales to tell of cute cowboys... if I ever find any that is. (there is a western store next door to my hotel, and I'm looking forward to finding a new pair of boots).

Other than long days, I've not had much time for anything. Hopefully that will change now that we are into rehearsal mode. And I finally have internet access!

Fly Day, tomorrow

I'm off to Dallas tomorrow. Maybe I'll be better about keeping up with my posting from there. I feel so disconnected from the blog world these days. I think its a symptom of the slight depression I'm suffering from when I am at home. The loss of interest in things that you enjoy part. Its bugging me, and I want to get back to a regular posting schedule. I think it helps me to have the release, the place to vent my feelings out. I need that right now, as I don't have the support system of real life people to vent to. Especially where I'm off to work in Dallas, with a group of guys, none of whom I'm overly friendly with.

I had a decent weekend in Chicago. I ventured out to the beach to meet up with some people I know. It was great to sit in the sun, but I have the oddest sunburn on my back. I learned that you can't adequately cover your back with sunscreen by yourself, even when using those new continuous spray bottles of SPF. I missed some odd shaped areas. Luckily, I didn't stay out too long, and it wasn't too painful of a sunburn. I followed that up with a trip to the - which is a huge event here in the city. It was an ok time... perhaps had I had some of my fellow chefs with me, it might have been better. I had two decent samples, fried raviolis - how can you go wrong, and crispy noodle shrimp - another hard to mess up option. But my third sample was not even passably edible. They seemed to be selling lots, so I risked it and went for the unusual at the Latin restaurant, and tried the banana pork dumpling. Bad mistake. Not a good combo at all. I don't know why I thought it would be - perhaps, I hoped for more of a plantain chip with a flavorful pork on top. But it didn't even come close to that. It was overly fried and just bad. I tossed it.

Other than a night of slight panic and inappropriately over thinking, things have been ok. I do so hate how I can so easily overthink things that really shouldn't bother me all that much. Things in the last days have been easy with C... we've chatted casually and without awkwardness. And then there was a strange situation when I left for home today from the office, and I worked myself up to his lack of stopping to say goodbye to me was more than it ever could possibly be. I something that probably didn't mean a thing into a huge thing in my head. I need to find a way to just relax about what our relationship is and let it be whatever it needs to be. I can't hold on too tight, or force it to be something that it might never be.

And now for sleep, as the flight is early tomorrow. And more to come from the fun of Dallas.

The Big D

They say everything is bigger in Texas... And that only steers and queers come from Texas. Well, I'm off to find out. I'll be spending the next month of my life in Dallas, TX. I'll be working a large convention there, one that includes a pink cadillac.

I'm up in the air about my feelings on this. I'm excited about a month of work at show rate (more than double shop rate for me). But, I'm a rock and roll girl, and I'm not sure how I feel about the switch to the corporate side of things. I'm hoping its just for the month, and then I'll be off and onto the world of the tour and a different city every day. I'm going with it and trying to just enjoy that I was asked and they want me on something. Which is a good feeling, after my frustrations last week of wondering why I wasn't getting work when so many people who seemed less competent than I were heading off on tours. Its disheartening when crew chiefs hand you plots to set up their rigs over the people who are actually heading out of town with them. Or its a nod of respect and will hopefully translate to more work later. Can't quite figure out where I want to go on that one.

I'm having moments of guilt tonight connected to all of this though. I was invited to the corporate dinner this evening (one similar to the one I cooked for weeks ago), but this time as a guest. I now understand why they were so excited by my food. I feel slightly guilty that I complimented the other chef, as I didn't really enjoy her food all that much. It was bland and lacked excitement and flavor. It was good, but simple and unexciting. I told her I had enjoyed it, but in reality, it was no where near the quality I'd expect from someone who has been cooking as long as she has been. I'm not sure why I feel guilty about telling her it was good food. It was good food, it just wasn't spectacular food.

I hate when I overthink things...

And now off to lounge in front of the fan and lament the fact that I have no air conditioning. Stay cool, stay dry...

Overtime on Monday?

Its going to be a long week. As it started off with overtime hours on Monday. After putting in long days on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week. I won't complain, because I need the money, and there is no looming tour for me just yet, but I know by the time the weekend gets here, I'll be exhausted.

I feel like I run all week and then when it gets to Saturday, I'm so beyond drained, I can't muster the energy to do much of anything, and waste the day laying on my couch and failing to nap. This week was because it was too darn hot to nap. We went from crazy storms on Friday, where it downpoured and created horrid travel conditions, to over 90 degrees and sunny with naught a cloud in the sky on Saturday. Of course, Sunday so the return of the dreary weather. I'm so beyond sick of rain and am really hoping that the sun that arrived today sticks around for a bit.

Because of the feeling of running all week, I feel a bit beat up by life. The touch of depression that I deal with certainly seems to peak its head out on those Saturdays. It makes it hard to motivate myself to get out and enjoy the new home I have here. I really wish I had someone to explore with, but alas, I've not found a partner for that. I do fine during the week, because I have the tasks of work to keep me company, as well as the coworkers to either annoy me or entertain me, depending on the day. But Saturdays just seem to be my least favorite days of the week lately. They loom long and dull. But I survive, and start it all over again. Work has kept me insanely busy. There are so many shows heading out of the shop... all of them without me though. I'm the one they turn to help put them all together, I get constantly asked are you going out with this or with that? But nothing yet. I'm keeping the mindset that something is coming for me, and that I'll end up on the tour that I'm best suited for. I'm slightly bitter that I don't get to go work the Bon Jovi one off on Thursday, as I do have such a love for their show and it is the reason I realized I needed to get the job I have now. But, not much I can do about changing management's minds and sending me instead of others. Except to work harder and hopefully get on the next one. :)

And now, after my dinner of toaster waffles, and a few moments to catch you all up on the fact that my life is just plain crazy and unexciting, I'm off to sleep. So I can do it all again tomorrow. Yay?

Does it have to be Monday already?

Another weekend is over and done with. Its been a tiring one. Yesterday was mostly rain and depression feelings for me. I was exhausted and didn't feel much like doing anything. I didn't leave the apartment once. I lounged on the couch and tried to read and tried to knit and tried to focus on a movie. None of it successful. A very blah day, if I do say so.

Perhaps it was because of how crazy my week was? At one point I was responsible for pulling together the gear for four different shows at the shop, why trying to help another one get prepped and out the door. I also had my nutrition final (which i bombed, but managed to get an A for the quarter... I think it had to do with my perfect scores on the papers, which I don't think she actually read.... cause there is no way I wrote two perfect papers... but I'm not about to complain). I then I finished the week off with an amazing dinner at the restaurant our Chef created and used to own. It was a thoroughly amazing meal, with some great conversation. I must recommend pork belly to you if you ever get to a restaurant that serves it. It was a succulent and tender meat that melted in your month. Alas, the desserts disappointed me. Good thing I had eaten enough food before we got to that course.

So, after my day of being down and blah yesterday, I went to be by 9 pm. I slept well, and woke to a bright and sunny day. I ventured off to the city, where I hit an art fair. There was lots to look at and admire, but nothing came close to being anywhere near my price point. And seeing as that was the case, my afternoon came to an end before I had though it would. I did stroll a bit along the river, before heading home to do a few errands. And now the night is drawing to a close, its almost time for bed, and another week will begin.

I have my last class for the quarter tomorrow, finishing up Soups, Stocks and Sauces. It will be nice to have a break until the fall. And not have the harried running I've been used to. I've still no word on a tour though. I'm hoping something comes up, for the doubling of the salary would be so very ncie.

Hope your weekends were relaxing and full of sun.

New Releases

I had thought I'd go see Up this weekend, but the theater closest to me was only showing it in 3D, which makes me all sorts of motion sick. (I think it has something to do with my horrid vision, which I found out got worse this week... through an emergency visit to the eye doc on Wednesday when I manages to drop a contact out of my eye at work... that was a bad way to start the day, but it did get the annual check up out of the way with... ). I did get to see The Hangover tonight though. A friend was going and invited me along. It was cheesy and stupid, but I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I certainly never got in that much trouble in my three years of living in Vegas... I wonder if tourists really do get that adventurous when they are in Sin City??

The part that struck me though, was the previews for what is coming soon. Violence, horror and more violence. Violence by adults, by prisoners, by children even. I saw nothing I have even the remotest desire to see. It was appalling to me that all the movies that are coming soon are of this sort. Are we as a culture really that entertained by violence? Do we accept it as such a part of culture now that we seek to be entertained by it? By murder? By destruction? By darkness? What a sad state the US is in if we seek this as our source of entertainment. Where is the uplifting? The happiness? The values? The good new movies?

Luck had it that I didn't strain all the muscles I thought I had yesterday at work. And I turned today into a very low key, but productive day.

I started my morning with fresh donuts at the farmers market, where I picked up strawberries and rhubarb, and some spring onions and asparagus. Its a smallish market, but had a decent selection of items. The lettuces looked amazing, but I have a Costco pack of lettuce in my fridge, so in an effort to eat what I have, I skipped those. I turned the onions and asparagus into a lovely risotto for dinner this evening. A bit of roasting on the asparagus gave it a great flavor. And turned the strawberries and rhubarb into a crisp for dessert. Its hard to decide on desserts to make when you live by yourself. I'd love a pie, but one person a whole pie can not eat. Ok, so yeh, I could eat a whole pie... but I'd hate myself and my hips in the morning.

I'm making some progress on my sizzle sweater. But I think I may have to frog it all. I'm working my way up the back, but the yarn has so much stretch, I think it may turn out to be huge on me. Judging by the model in the pattern photo, I choose to make a small, but I'm thinking I should have gone with an xs. Maybe I'll toss in a few extra decrease rows and get down to the number for an xs as I work up the back. It felt so nice to sit around a knit today... its been too long since I had time for the simple indulgences.

And I have another day of free time tomorrow! I don't know how I'll feel after two days off with no plans... I haven't had that since i got here to Chicago!

What a week...

After my weekend of being buried in paper hell, I followed it up with a very long week. Work was work, and no more busy than any other week. I did a lot of show prep, which was fun for a change, and got me away from two very negative coworkers that have been getting on my nerves in the service room. One who has decided to not like me, and get all snarky with on several occasions. Like reminding me of pieces of my job that need to be done when she has no idea how to do my job. My job is the same whether I fix a light in room A or room B, and you couldn't fix one if your life depended on it, so don't assume I'm going to not do something because I'm in another room. The downside to show prep is that I'm going to be very sore tomorrow. I lifting things that weight 75 pounds or so today. By myself. I coiled cables, hundreds and hundred of feet worth of cables. I'm hoping my forearms don't suffer too much, as I'd like to knit tomorrow.

The rough part of the week were the thoughts in my head. I got very much into the thoughts of the one things I seem to want in life (marriage and kids) and not having it. I was feeling very lonely and I fixated on the things that are missing from my life, rather than all the things i do have. It took a reminder that I have so many things going for me - school, job, people fighting over me at said job (apparently everyone wants me to work on their teams these days), the chance to professionally cook for people, health, an apartment in the city that I really do love, etc. So much that I thought I had planned out for this year never panned out - some in good ways, as I'm glad I didn't get my original Chicago apartment, as I realize now I'd hate the drive - and some in ways that have yet to be determined - C, mainly (I'm worried about him, and how deeply he takes things lately. Its hard to see someone hate their job so much, when just a year ago he had so much passion for it, and taught me so much about it.). My head went to the deep black hole of feeling so alone, and like I'd never get what I wanted and would always be alone. Its a deep and scary place there, and I cried, A LOT. I'm no closer to figuring out why I'm alone, but I'm trying to trust the plan that is my life. Its damn hard to let go of desires and wants though. And I haven't quite figured out how to do it.

On the good news front, mom had a second PET scan, following up the final dose of chemo. And it came back clear. So, now she's onto the next round of surgery and then that will be followed up by radiation therapy.

More posts to come later this weekend. I'm hoping to hit up the local farmers market tomorrow. I hear they have great donuts :). And get some knitting done. And laundry... And maybe, a trip to Loopy...

I fed him lunch...

ok, so not really. Can you imagine how much he'd need to be satisfied?

But I do complete my second cooking assignment for my company, cooking lunch for the people that were in doing the refurb on him after 3 years on the road. It went quite well and I received all sorts of compliments. I do need to work on portion control, as I overcooked just a bit. But was happy with how everything turned out in the end.

In other weekend news, I got to see a lot of old friends at the Yanni tour. Which is a very visually spectacular show. It would be lost without the video content.

I also spent all day stuck in my nutrition paper. I have to do a final edit of it, but I'm mostly done. Thankfully. It was brutal trying to get it to come together at some points.

And now the weekend is over and its back the craziness of a week. Only two more with classes though. I can't wait for the slow down that will come with that. I think.

Sleep well... until later in the week.

I heart Thursdays

I think Thursday has become my favorite day. Its the one day of the week that I am guaranteed to be home by 830. Its so nice to have a little quiet time to relax and not be rushing to bed or the work or to class. I can't say much for my Thursday night class though... but thankfully there are only two more weeks left. The teacher actually said today, can you repeat that question, I wasn't listening. REALLY? Isn't that your main job?

Its been a bit of a crazy week. Lots of stupidity to deal with at work. I practiced the art of smiling and nodding, know that any argument I put forth for the crazy tasks I was being asked to accomplish would fall on deaf ears. And in the grand scheme of things, they only wasted their own time, not mine. I did get added responsibility of pulling together gear for a show, which was cool. Its great to be in a position where I'm trusted and they want me to learn more. Now if only I can convince them to pay me more, and send me to Australia in August....

Dinner on Monday went really well. The key lime pie was fabulous (I think C ate half of it Monday night) and I was quite happy with my pan sauce for the steak. The conversation was good, for the most part. Its hard to want one thing, and not understand why the other person doesn't want it too. But, the more I think on things, the less I understand him. He's opening up more to me in the last weeks than ever before, but in the end, I'm finding that he is very confused about what he wants... or what he thinks he wants.

There was one interesting question that got brought up, not one that we discussed fully, but got me to thinking... the question being when was the last time you were completely happy? (he was telling me of someone else that asked him this question, I've yet to share my answer with him) For him, he figured it was three years ago, when he was living back in Indiana and didn't have a care in the world. For me, I don't think I have ever been completely happy for a period of time. For a week, or two, yes... but never for months at a time. I've definitely had periods where I am happy with areas of my life for longer stretches of time... but I can't say I've ever been completely happy with my job, my social life and my personal life all at the same time. I thought the move here would be the chance to change that... and perhaps it still is, but right now, I love my job, I'm enjoying school, but I'm not happy with where I am personally or socially. Its a bit deep... and oddly philosophical... but, I'd really like to get to a point where I love all aspects of my life.

On a lighter note, I get to see some of my diamond cohorts tomorrow, as well as a Yanni show... should be an interesting way to start the weekend off....

Why do weekends go by so fast?

Another whirlwind weekend in Chicago down. I actually got out and was social this weekend. A friend from NYC was in town, and we hit up a club and a dive bar after an afternoon of sidewalk drinking. A bit too late of a night, but fun was had by all. And many, many, many drinks.

I also have gotten all but one of the boxes out of my apartment. So, we're almost there on the put away and settled in part. C is on his way for dinner to celebrate his birthday, so that was motivation to get the dining room table cleared off (updates on the Key Lime Pie and the Southern Comfort Pan sauce over filet mignon to come later... cross your fingers they go smoothly and I don't burn down the kitchen... )

Its back to work tomorrow, for what hopefully won't be as long of a week as last week. I worked until 12:30 am on Saturday morning... and left most people still there. Its definitely a good thing that so much is going ok, but it really hinders the sleep some nights.

I did manage to have a very productive day yesterday, and got the shopping done for all the June birthdays and father's day, as well as finding new pants and shoes for work. It seems like all those pesky errands get put off so much with the schedule I keep. I don't have the time to hit target or the mall on a weeknight, and have to jam it all into the weekends. This weekend its made me a bit anxious. I feel like I'm bordering on an anxiety attack for some reason today. Although not quite sure why.

Thats about all I have to report on the front of my backwards marathon running life. Things are hopefully going to calm down, and hopefully lead me off to a summer tour to make some more money and get out of the rat race of the back and forth between the city and work. I'm hoping for updates on that soon. I did get a few more rows of Sizzle done, but its slow going with the yarn I chose. Its a 100% cotton and I'm finding it very slippery and that tension is hard to maintain.

And now to finish up dinner, as hopefully C will be arriving shortly.

Yet another long week

I was home before 8 pm tonight. YEY! It happens so rarely these days, I must celebrate is occurrence. So, I'm enjoying a glass of red wine. And sitting.

Its almost bed time, as the week has been long. Summer has arrived in Chicago. I feel like we skipped spring though. Or I was too busy and stressed to realize spring happened. Either way, it made it to 90 degrees today. If I'm going to be home for the summer, I desperately need to invest in an air conditioner. Hopefully just a fan though.

I almost fell asleep on the way to work yesterday. I feel so burned out some days. Other days, I'm fine. But those days when the long travel times, the long times on my feet at work, and the late nights/early morning combine are the worst. Especially when they usually entail staying late at work (I bailed at 9 pm last night, almost 2 hours before everyone else got to go home). Work has been good though. Mostly. I did explode a light today... not by fault of my own, but for lack of checking work I didn't know had been done by someone else. Unfortunately, it took out the two hours of work I had invested into the project, and several hundred, if not thousands of dollars worth of equipment. I'm hoping to find out if there is a tour for me soon. I do get to see a friend from the diamond days this week, as he'll be back in building The Fray's tour which heads out in a few weeks. That will be nice.

School is good. I'm enjoying making sauces, and I'm at a point where I would definitely say two of the girls are friends. One especially. We email/text outside of class and are trying to plan a night out. Its nice to have the start of a social life here, as I've not been able to get to the knitting night I want to attend, nor have I found any good quality meetup groups to join (which was my main way of meeting people in NYC).

I finally feel like I'm settling in and am home here. I still have lots of exploring to do and some unpacking. But that will come. I had a really good conversation with C over the weekend, and I think we are solidly on the path to friendship. He'll be back this weekend, and I'm roping him into helping to hang some pictures on my walls, and showing him what a real birthday celebration should be like (his is Friday and he didn't understand why I made such a big deal out of my birthday... so i thought I'd show him to right way to celebrate and am cooking dinner for him).

For now though, it feels nice to lounge here and not be rushing off to work, or rushing off to sleep or rushing off to school. Or waiting on a delivery or waiting on the internet. Hope you have great Friday's and have good plans for the long weekend.

I'm back!

online that is, so perhaps that means I'll be back here more often and keeping up with you all and what's going on in my life.

Its been so long, I don't even remember what I've told you all and what I haven't. So, if I repeat myself, sorry. Bear with me while I get back into a rhythm. If that is possible at this point, that is.

So, anyways, it was a crazy week. I started in on the second culinary course of school. We made roux and cosumme and crepes. All quite tasty. Well, not the roux... I didn't taste that one.

But the highlight of my week came in the combining of work and cooking and my first paid job as a chef. I was asked to step up to the plate on Thursday night and cook for the executive meeting that was taking place. It was a bit like being thrown into the deep end and not having the option of sinking. I found out at 9 am that there was dinner for 22-24 at 6 pm. I was told there are pork chops, rib eyes and salmon filets in the fridge... there is a grill out there... and here's some money for the grocery store and N, who is in charge of the serving side of things and to help you out. And off you go. Have fun, don't stress, and don't use butter or cheese.

Hours later, and many chopped things, I put a meal of shrimp cocktail and bruschetta, pasta with marinara sauce, chopped mixed salad, grilled rib eyes, grilled pork chops with apple cranberry chutney, grilled salmon with mango black bean salsa, olive oil roasted potatoes, roasted cauliflower, and strawberry shortcake. I had a few glitches along the way (overly thick pork chops being the major one) but the night ended with the compliment from the owner of the company that it was the best salmon he had had. Followed by the remark that we want you to do this again. Score one for me, and my cooking! It is really a gratifying thing to hear that people like what you cooked and want to experience it again. I know I've always gotten compliments, but part of me always doubts when they are coming from your parents (don't they have to like it?) or the guy who would eat anything... Coming from a known picky eater, who has dined extensively, it was a great compliment and a check in the success column.

So, that's my big story of the week. And I just had to share. Now its time for sleep. More about my knitting (I've got a sock on one set of needles and cast on for Knit and Tonic's Sizzle tank this morning as well) and about other aspects of life soon, I hope. Happy Monday everyone! Hope your weeks start of well and continue smoothly.

Must be something there...

Oddly enough, two of my three favorite radio stations here in Chicago-land are Christian ones.  The other is country.  I tend to flip between them a lot, especially on my morning drive into work.  This morning, I flipped to the first one as this song was starting.  After it was over, they started in on their pledge drive talk, which really bugs me.  (why pledge drives are a huge pet peeve of mine belongs in another post though).  So I flipped back to the other station, where I found the same song that had just finished was starting up.

The words of the song struck me...  as I feel like I'm in this huge state of choas (I'm still living out of boxes, have no internet at home, waiting on a couch, trying to find my way and a social life, etc and I'm still trying to deal with everything else that has gone on - mom, C, other past mistakes with the love and personal life, etc).  The first lines of it seemed to speak to me, that its time to move on and heal and fix.  

It was like God was telling me I really should listen to the song and just go with it.  So, here's to letting go, and letting God.  And working on that trusting that He knows what He's doing and even if I can't figure it out, I'm on my way to where I'm supposed to be going.  

ARGH!

So, I still have no internet at my apartment.  The upside to that is a found a great little bread bakery to sit in this morning and enjoy my morning coffee and a lemon poppy seed scone.  

I got all of my stuff yesterday, and am mostly unpacked already.  I have a ton of organizing to do though.  I have so much stuff!  Most of it is baking or cooking related...  who'd have guessed, right?  I don't have much in terms of cabinet space - or counter space either - but I have this great walk in closet in my hall entry way that has become my storage spot.  I have pots and pans and plates all stowed in there.  Seems like it will work out pretty well for me.  It was heavenly to sleep in a real bed last night too.  So nice to have that level of comfort back.  

And I need another basket for yarn.  I thought two would be enough, but apparently it isn't.  

I got half of my couch order, so at least I have a place to sit now.  The couch should be delivered next Saturday...  so not too long to wait for that.  

The internet is the part thats annoying me though.  They apparently hooked it up on Friday like they were supposed to.  But it doesn't work in my apartment, unfortunately.  I've been trying to fix it because due to my schedule at AT&T's schedule, the soonest I can get a service appointment is next Saturday morning.  Bah!  I was sobbing when I got off the phone with technical service on Friday night.  I depend so much on the internet these days --- its my entertainment source, my connection to the outside word, my screen to vent on.  And I didn't have it, and won't have easy access to it for another week.  Looking back, it seems very unreasonable to be so upset at the lack of something like internet, but it truly crushed me to know that I have to wait another week to get back on line.  

In other news, I got an A in my first culinary school class.  I passed Intro to Cooking fairly easily, and had fun doing it.  Well, except for those pesky tournes (potatoes carved to look vaguely like a football).  I start soup, stocks and sauces tomorrow.  Which is exciting, as it will be more focused on the cooking, which is what I am looking forward to.  I have to start working on my papers for my nutrition class, as that is going to be the more difficult one.  The teacher used all book/publisher developed materials - power points and quizzes and I'm assuming the final too.  The part that is difficult is that the quizzes often include questions of things that aren't covered in class, which to me, just seems not quite right.  If you want me to know it, go over it during lecture.  

Ok, so I think I've babbled on through a ton of different topics and caught you all up on the last week of my life.  Or perhaps overwhelmed you completely.  I do so miss this outlet when I don't have my internet access.  That and reading all of your blog stories.  Maybe I'll be back later tonight with more updates...  I'm off to Home Goods and Target and my cheap produce store.  

And another note, never got to Costco on a Friday night...  the lines weren't too bad, but the people clogging the aisles drove me batty!