And the follow up....

So the interview went. It wasn't at all what I expected. I was much more nervous than I should have been. That was noticed too.

But alas, I didn't feel it there. Not like I did at the interview from last week. I was interested, but I think I'm not quite suited for the position. There would have been lots of computer research and lots of calls - I'm not good at calls. I actually hate calling people that I don't know and that don't expect me to be calling. I'm a jumbled ball of thoughts right now. I am DESPERATE for a job. I need to make money so I can pay D for the sublet at the end of the month, and be able to get into my own place. I need to be able to start paying off American Express and Visa. I need to be able to not use Visa to pay for my groceries. I need to not be sitting at home every day. I was honest when she asked me the question of when would you be able to start. I want to hear about the other job first. I felt energy there. Energy that wasn't there today. I want to be able to commit to the job, and I can't do that if I haven't heard from the other one. Might have been a mistake to do, but I wanted to be honest.

I did hear from the first interview though. They are setting me up on a second interview for the start of next week. Which makes me feel slightly better. But I'm still questioning if I said too much or if I was too honest. Mom's comment was that everything happens for a reason... so, I'm trying to focus on the good news of the first job wanting to see me again. And not on the fact that I might have lost a job before I even had it.