I had to completely rip out the skirt portion of my sweater. I somehow mixed up my knits with my purls in the rib pattern. I tried to only take out the row that I made the mistake in, but I am completely unsuccessful at ripping out lots of stitches. I have to tediously back stitch each one. But I got impatient, and pulled the needles back and unraveled the row. I thought if I'm patient, I can do this. I can get all the stitches back on the needles. Til they started dropping. And running. And then I threw it down, pulled the needles completely out and just ripped out all of my progress of the last week. So, now I have to start again. Perhaps after I get back from pigging out on sushi.
I had to wash my scarf after an unfortunate incident on saturday night caused it to fall to the beer and god only knows what else soaked floor. I've yet to wash any of my knitted objects - except for felting the penguin - so I'm a bit nervous. Its spread out on my floor drying.
I met with ANOTHER staffing agency today. I'm so sick of these meetings. I'm ready for my something good to happen. It seems like I see people all around me getting what they want, while I'm still waiting and reaching and not quite getting there. Yes, I know the grass isn't always greener. Yet, when you see someone close to you getting what they want, and what they want specifically is not you, it hits in a strange way. Even if you know you want more and better, the sting that an element of rejection provides still hurts. And sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm wanting the wrong things and thats why I'm not getting them. Or course, that brings up the question of am I wanting the wrong things? Am I wanting the wrong place? The wrong profession? And if I am wanting the wrong things in any of those categories, what are the right things to be wanting? Or maybe I'm just being taught more patience... Although, I've been at this job search since September, so how much more patience do I need? Guess I'm just feeling bit discouraged... I know that there is something out there perfect for me... now if only I could find it.
Monday, February 18, 2008
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2 comments:
Maybe starting over with the skirt portion of ur sweater is a metaphor for starting over with everything else in ur life...
The only advice I can give is to find something ur naturally good at and try to do that with ur job/career. Even if it's not necessarily fun like a hobby but just a trait such as helping people or being good with numbers, etc. I find that trying to swim upstream ur always in a constant battle with the tide. I'm all for working on our weaknesses but lately I've just been more accepting of what I can and can't do well and trying to appreciate that for what it is.
I'll just keep saying a prayer for you. I know this is a tough place to be in.
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