Teaching myself to say no

I said no to a request last night that I normally would have caved to. It was an odd feeling. The request was for something that is not good for me, and something that I need to close the door on. If the request had been reversed, I have no doubt his answer would have been no without a second thought. Yet, it still felt strange to actually say it, as its something that I'm just not good at. It is something I need to learn more of though. To stand up for my own feelings and make sure I am getting what I want, not just providing others with what they want.

I then spent the rest of the night plagued with odd and scary dreams. Murders of friends, trials, stolen cars. How my mind combines things and creates dreams is beyond me, but I think I'll lay off the mixing of tequila and red wine for a bit. (the day started with an all you can drink mexican brunch with the girls, and finished with knitting and red wine with Alyssa.... a great day, but odd drinking combinations...)

Its odd to think I'm leaving NYC for the next six weeks. I've spent the week making the rounds of everyone and hanging out as much as possible with friends before I leave. I will miss how social my life has become, and the constant having someone to spend time with or do something fun with. I think I better get to my packing...