Confusion

I'm having relationship issues. I misinterpreted a text message and have caused more pain that I knew I was capable of. I'm confused and a bit lost, but he needs space and time, and there is nothing I can do but give that to him, and hope that the pain I've caused heals quickly. Its a strange state of limbo to be in. Waiting, and not knowing when I'll hear again. I've never asked for prayers before, but I need them today. For strength, for healing, for guidance, for patience.

In the meantime, I'm working on re establishing me. I've been lost these past few weeks. Stuck in missing him, and forgetting me. Stuck in being on and fabulous all the time as I meet all these new people, and forgetting that I am me, and don't need to be this facade I put up when I'm in a new situation and not comfortable. Its why I enjoyed my last tour, cause i didn't worry about what people thought. This one, I'm worrying, I'm acting, and I'm not being me. I need to relax and be the me I spent so much time finding this past year.

I've no progress to report on knitting. I have no fun photos to post. I'm off to sleep now, to wake up at 530 am for another long day of work.