I've removed my stitches (yes, I removed them myself), and my thumb healed up nicely. The scar isn't even going to be too bad. It is still slightly painful when I put pressure on it, but I'm hoping there is no permanent damage.
Work continues to be long and stressful. The hours are horrible and I fear making mistakes and getting yelled at. Its even gotten to the point of having bad dreams the nights before I work. I wake up in a cold sweat and anxious for the following day. I can't wait for it to be two weeks from now and on break. I am hoping that I can make the transition to the lighting team, as one of their guys is being pulled back to the shop, but I'm not sure that will happen. I need to email the shop and make sure my name is on their radar, yet I am scared of doing that they'll offer me something else that I might have to turn down... Its a tough place to be in, having one job but wanting another, when they are both contract positions that could end at any time.
Crash and I continue to talk and see what happens. We talk as much as before, but no longer profess our love for each other. We've talked about slowing things down and making sure we have a strong foundation so that we have a successful and strong relationship. We miss each other terribly, and he continues to make me smile. I did have a huge fight with a friend over the situation though. She became angry with me because I continue to want him in my life. She attacked me personally for continuing to talk to him and not walking away. There is something there though, and I can't just give up on him and us just yet. It feels like the right thing for me, and that is what I have to go with. And I hope I'm not wrong.
I've been working on a scarf that a friend asked me to make for her.
Its been interesting, as I'm knitting it lengthwise, which leaves me with about 275 stitches on my needles. I'm working the one row scarf, yet I keep making mistakes along the way, so I guess its just a random pattern at this point. I'm hoping I have enough stitches on the needles and it ends up long enough after I block it out. The yarn she chose isn't my favorite, and I thought frogging it would destroy the integrity, so we'll see...
I spent today at the Florida Aquarium, which was a perfect way to spend a day off. It was nice to wander around in the silence and watch the fish swim around. Many of them were a bit camera shy, but I did manage to get off several good shots. But they had no penguins. Which are among my favorites.
After that, I spend the day sitting outside with my book, enjoying the wind in my face and the water being beside me. And then had dinner with a good friend... one of the few I've managed to find out here on this tour.
I'll try to post again before I leave the world of free internet... I feel so far behind and like I might have missed half of the catching up I wanted to do. But now its time for sleep... How sad that I go to bed at 9 am...
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2 comments:
Yay, you have returned! Never be afraid to turn a job down. If anything be afraid of not being offered one...
good luck with the lighting job.
Only you can know what you have with Crash, if you feel like you need to keep him in your life a little longer do it. It's your life hun you have to do what you think it best.
Come to NYC...yes that's an order. Miss you.
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