Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Fly Day, tomorrow

I'm off to Dallas tomorrow. Maybe I'll be better about keeping up with my posting from there. I feel so disconnected from the blog world these days. I think its a symptom of the slight depression I'm suffering from when I am at home. The loss of interest in things that you enjoy part. Its bugging me, and I want to get back to a regular posting schedule. I think it helps me to have the release, the place to vent my feelings out. I need that right now, as I don't have the support system of real life people to vent to. Especially where I'm off to work in Dallas, with a group of guys, none of whom I'm overly friendly with.

I had a decent weekend in Chicago. I ventured out to the beach to meet up with some people I know. It was great to sit in the sun, but I have the oddest sunburn on my back. I learned that you can't adequately cover your back with sunscreen by yourself, even when using those new continuous spray bottles of SPF. I missed some odd shaped areas. Luckily, I didn't stay out too long, and it wasn't too painful of a sunburn. I followed that up with a trip to the - which is a huge event here in the city. It was an ok time... perhaps had I had some of my fellow chefs with me, it might have been better. I had two decent samples, fried raviolis - how can you go wrong, and crispy noodle shrimp - another hard to mess up option. But my third sample was not even passably edible. They seemed to be selling lots, so I risked it and went for the unusual at the Latin restaurant, and tried the banana pork dumpling. Bad mistake. Not a good combo at all. I don't know why I thought it would be - perhaps, I hoped for more of a plantain chip with a flavorful pork on top. But it didn't even come close to that. It was overly fried and just bad. I tossed it.

Other than a night of slight panic and inappropriately over thinking, things have been ok. I do so hate how I can so easily overthink things that really shouldn't bother me all that much. Things in the last days have been easy with C... we've chatted casually and without awkwardness. And then there was a strange situation when I left for home today from the office, and I worked myself up to his lack of stopping to say goodbye to me was more than it ever could possibly be. I something that probably didn't mean a thing into a huge thing in my head. I need to find a way to just relax about what our relationship is and let it be whatever it needs to be. I can't hold on too tight, or force it to be something that it might never be.

And now for sleep, as the flight is early tomorrow. And more to come from the fun of Dallas.


km said...

I sent the email before I saw the blog post. Definitely blog about Dallas. I'm just grinning because there are lots of diamonds given to the ladies....so this is your 2nd job with diamonds...love to see where that takes you in the future.

Panic...don't we all have a bit of it.

Leah said...

I swear, blogging has been a godsend for me! You might find, as you say, that it provides release...

and I'm headed back to Texas in a week and a half! I hope we both have fun!