I look like me

I apparently look like a Sarah. I keep getting told this as I meet more and more people. The remark is always, oh, that's easy to remember. You look like a Sarah. I guess that's good. I do like my name and all, so its fitting that it suits me.

I'm currently in Omaha, NE. I've been through a few cities now... the third show is tomorrow night. Sioux City, Iowa was a bit scary. It felt like a bit of a truck stop, rather than a town. We fly a charter jet - which will be our preferred mode of transportation on this tour - to get there. Which was a bit odd. If you ever get the chance to face the tail of the plane on a flight, don't do it. It is the oddest feeling when you take off and you feel like you are going to tumble toward the tail due to the forces of gravity acting on you. My yarn did in fact take a tumble toward the people sitting opposite me. Thankfully I was in the rear row, so it didn't roll very far away.

I've been battling a bit of insomnia lately too. Its been rough starting a new job, and although I do enjoy the people I work with, I sometimes feel like there is little importance in my job. Yes, I am needed to make sure the crew stays fed, and yes, even the star himself. But its not like the show couldn't go on without me. The speed is completely different too. I do miss lighting. Much more than I thought I would. I think that is mostly because I learned something on my last tour. I learned how to fix lights, which made me a real lighting tech. And I miss not being able to use that knowledge.

Adding to the insomnia is the lengthy discussions with Crash. We're dealing with the pains of not being able to see each other, and other issues based on religions and beliefs and our differing thoughts. Its left me feeling a bit confused. I wonder why he is so concerned with my relationship with God, and why he is concerned with how it would change if we were to end our relationship (talk about a strange conversation to have with someone the day after you start talking of planning a vacation for 6 months from now). In the end they are good conversations, and we are getting to know each other better and learning more about how each of us process thoughts and feelings and beliefs. But its so hard to have these huge conversations and be thousands of miles away from each other and not able to curl up together afterwards. I'm also dealing with the thoughts on where my own religious views stand right now; How I can be more open to a presence of God in my life, when I've grown up in a religion that makes God a bit of a distant character. I picked up a couple of interesting books to read today at this cool bookstore I found here in Omaha. We'll see what I come up with... Or if I am just entertained.