Gobble Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope your days are blessed with turkey, stuffing and pie (most importantly pie!).

I am lucky enough to be about an hour from home on this stop of the tour, and am thankful I get to spend the holiday with my family. There is only one person missing... but he's getting to spend the day with his family... so its ok. (here's hoping I convince him that Christmas with presents and laughs and board games isn't as scary as it sounds though).

Hope you all have a happy day and have lots to be thankful for this season. (I'm also thankful for friends that show up and take me to yarn stores. Now I have the perfect yarn for my February Lady Sweater!)

I need more needles!

I'm longing to knit more. I'm waiting for yarn to get here for Crash's scarf, but I'm not going to be able to get that til a week from Saturday. And now I want a new project. I like the scarf I'm working on for me, but its not fulfilling enough. I want to cast on a sweater. But for most of the ones I want to make, I need new needles. Or yarn that is not with me on the road. (thankfully I get to fix that later on when I go home for Thanksgiving). And I'm hoping that Santa brings me the Options Needles from Knit Picks I am asking for. I may cast on for the February Lady Sweater later, as I do have the needles for that, and a yarn I think will work. That might change when I get home and look at the yarn again though. There is also another hat I'm thinking of making. We'll see what happens when I get to the yarn and see what I have. I really wish I could just hop on over to a LYS and pick up something new to work on. Alas, there is no way to get anywhere from here today. I'm stuck in the middle of Connecticut at the Mohegan Sun.

I had a great fun evening, that included way too much drinking last night and a bit of a morning hangover today. I did only lose sixteen dollars though... And managed to get most of the drinks for free. Its fun to have those nights out every now and then. To let loose and forget the stress of my working situation.

I really should gather up some stuff and pack to leave here tonight. But the motivation to do such things just isn't there. I'm thinking a Johnny Rockets burger and shake might fix that though. Or completely destroy any motivation I have. Not sure which.

Surviving Frigid Temps and Fighting a cold

I am barely surviving up here in the cold north. I've not been outside since Wednesday. And won't until tomorrow morning and I have to go to the airport. I've been fighting off something or other... a virus, a cold, I don't know. But my throat has been irritated, I'm sneezing and I'm exhausted. I think I feel better this morning... but we'll see how I feel when I get to working for a few hours.

Luckily the last few days have been really mellow and easy. We've not had full out meal times just yet, as we've been in rehearsals. Today is the first show. So, hopefully it goes smoothly. The one good thing is knowing the exact end of the day. I'll be back to my bed by 10 pm at the latest. Yes, I'm a young girl who is looking forward to being in bed as soon as she can on a Saturday night.

North Dakota seems to be very flat and very desolate. As well as very cold (I think the thermometer read 3 at one point last night... 3 Fahrenheit that is). I'm off to Wisconsin next... I don't think its much different there. Perhaps more beer though, as we are heading to Milwaukee.

I'm loving the pattern I choose for the second start of Crash's scarf. But I'm not sure on the yarn. I might have to change my choice and order something new. Have to decide that in the next day or two though. I'd love to get some good cashmerino for it... but I'm not sure I want to spend that much. Right now I'm using an alpaca, but its just not as soft or drapey as I'd like it to be. Any good ideas for a guys scarf yarn?

Next stop, the cold north

I head back to tour tomorrow. And by back to tour, I mean I head to North Dakota. North Dakota is cold. I mean really cold right now. Its supposed to be in the high 20's tomorrow. And the high teens the following day. UGH. I don't think I have clothes warm enough for this. Especially since I lost my hat just a day after I made it. I hope whoever found it needed it more than I did.

This break has been a crazy one. I feel like I still need another week of rest. I think I tried to do too much, and it call collapsed in on me.

The time with Crash was good, but trying. I feel so comfortable with him, that I let all of my guards down and ended up becoming quite the emotional basket case while we were together. I found myself being clingy, needy and overly emotional. We ended up having a long conversation about this behavior and how damaged I am finding myself. I spent too much time in emotional abusive situations... where guys I was dating criticized my looks and killed myself confidence and where I allowed myself to be used and taken for granted. Allowing people to take advantage of my nature has been a long standing fault I have. I realized following my talk with Crash that this has been going on since high school. I want people to like me, and allow myself to be a doormat to those guys who I am attracted to. It is something I need to work on, cause for the first time I have a guy who loves me, who doesn't want to see that happen. Who wants me to live my life fully and completely, yet share a life with him. Its a huge issue I need to work on, but to know I have someone to stand with me, and help me work through it is great.

It's hard to be dealing with this issue coming back to the surface right now. I want to avoid going back to work, where I am also allowing myself to be taken advantage of. Perhaps in a different way... but I don't stand up for myself and demand things like breaks and the chance to sit down during a work day (which results in a very over tired and stressed out me, and other medical issues, including the deterioration of the knee I injured years ago). Also, I need to start seriously thinking of what is coming next for me in life. Where I am going to live? Work? Do? I have so many questions and so few answers. I think I need to be not on the road so constantly. I want to have a spot where I can cook dinner and curl up and knit and be able to have a knitting circle or reading group.

Its going to be a long few months... surviving the last 6 weeks of this tour, working on me and getting the real me out of her shell again, figuring out where I'm going and what I'm going to do when I get there, and not imploding or exploding.

I made a hat today!

I feel very accomplished right now. I made a hat today. I cast on about 12:30 and I sit here with a completed hat on my head. And its a quite cute hat if I do say so myself. It was supposed to be a beret with the Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Superchunky that I picked up this weekend in NYC. But alas, its more of just a cute hat. It didn't get to the beret shape at all. Could be that i didn't up my needle size from my 10.5s to the 13s that it called for in the body of the hat. I didn't have 13s... so I just figured I'd wing it. And I almost ran out of yarn. I had to skip the straight knitting rows in between most of the decrease rows. So, its my version of the super-simple fast and easy chunky hand-knit beret...

And check out my new hair... I added bangs and got a new color. I am still getting used to how the bangs feel on my forehead, but I love how they look. Cute, eh?

The weekend in NYC was good. I much preferred the quieter times than the loud brunch, but it was great to catch up with friends and be back in the city. I hit three yarn stores, and only bought one skein of yarn... which is now the hat. I couldn't refuse, it was on sale and matches my winter coat perfectly. I picked up a pair of ballet flats, which feel just like having slippers on my feet. The food was good, the company was better, and I've had my fill of the city for a bit.

Tomorrow I head to Boston to spend days with Crash. I'm already packed, which if you know anything about me, means I'm beyond excited for this visit. I never pack til the last minute. I'm not sure I'm liking the pattern I choose for his scarf. I'm going to give it a few more rows tonight and then make a decision on it.

How are your projects coming? Any fun changes going on in your worlds?

ARGH!

Tonight I got out my sock to work on. I was figuring I might be able to have one sock finished before the end of the night. Unfortunately that is not the case. I have significantly less of my sock done. I got through one round and realized a stitch had been dropped. In attempting to get it back on the needle from where it sat, several rows below my needles, I lost yet another stitch.

So I pulled stitches out for a few rounds, and tried to get them all back on the needles. And failed miserably at that.

So I pulled out a few more rounds and tried again. And that didn't work either.

I went and had pumpkin cake with way too much icing, much to the amusement of my parents. And then I had an idea of taking a sewing needle and thread and running that through the stitches. So I did that, and slowly and painfully pulled stitches back onto the needles. I got what looks like all of them, yet doesn't add up to all of them. I have all of the sole stitches but am missing three of the top ones. Which I guess I will just add in on my next round. I think where it has a pattern on the top, I just knit stitches together that should have been kept separate. At least I didn't lose the hole thing... I just don't get to start the second one just yet.

I need to get better light for the room I stay in when I'm here at my parents so this doesn't happen again. Especially with the dark yarns I am using for the current projects of these socks and Crash's scarf.

Tomorrow I am off to NYC for the weekend. After I get a new hair color and cut. I'm hoping there isn't much traffic and the drive is quick and easy.

BREAK!

Its official. I have two full weeks where I don't have to wake up at 5:25 AM.

And what did I do on my first day of not having to wake up? I woke up, wide awake, at 6:45 AM. UGH.

Ah well, its a travel day, and I'm off to the airport in just a few minutes. I fly to Chicago, where I get to spend 2 lovely hours in the airport waiting for my next flight. And then, I'm on to Boston. It will be so nice to be home for a few days and away from the stress of my job/boss.

I finished the scarf... it was a quick knit. But I seem to have issues counting to four. Especially in the bind off row. Ahh well, it still looks cool. And I really love the color combination that my friend choose. I'm going to try and block it a little bit when I get to my parents place. See if I can get a little stretch out of it, as its a touch shorter than I had hoped it would be.

I'm working out the pattern for Crash's Christmas present scarf. I'm going to see if I can make this mosaic pattern I found work for it or not. The pattern comes from a sock pattern and was established in the round, so I have to see if I can make it work or not for a back and forth knitting experience. Alas, the yarn for that got sent home in a box, so I have to wait til tonight to give that a try. I also think I'm going to purchase the pattern for the Somewhat Cowl and get that cast on while I am home for break.

I need to do some thinking about my next steps in life over the course of this break. I only have 21 work days before the conclusion of this tour. I'm not sure what I want to come next. I know that this job has made my headaches worse. I wasn't suffering from them nearly as much before I started this tour. Or even at the beginning of this tour. I need a change. But I'm not sure what that change is just yet. Is it leaving the road and finding myself a new home? Is it moving back to lights and staying here on the road? Is it a transition to something else (corporate, production)? A return to school for the cooking classes I think of taking? Hopefully answers will start arriving soon... the countdown to January 8th begins quite soon.

A collage of pictures from my journey to come,,,, I'm off for the last of the packing.