Laziness

I think we've (an by we've I mean the American society) have reach an all time low of laziness. I got an email advertising this today. Its an electric martini maker. Not so different from your normal bar shaker. But it shakes or stirs for you. I'm all for making things easier, but is there something as taking it too far? You still have to measure out the vodka or gin. Still have to add your own ice. Still have to pour the drink into the glass that you still had to chill. So, how much time does having a machine shake your drink for you actually save? Or does it make it more of a process? And really, is shaking a drink that difficult? And shouldn't you at least burn off a few of the calories it includes? If you want someone to mix your drink for you, hit the local bar!

In terms of my interview situation, I got 40 miles from home when I finally got a hold of the woman. And come to find out, I had interviewed with her colleague a few weeks ago, so it was not necessary for me to make the entire trip down. Glad I found out then, and not any further into my drive. So, now I wait again. And hope that these staffing agencies find something for me to interview for.

interview?

I think I have an interview tomorrow. But I'm unsure, as I'm having the hardest time pinning down the woman who got ahold of my resume to set an actual time and place. You'd think that since she got back to me about the resume I submitted, she'd be a bit more proactive about telling me where she is, and what time she'd like to see me. So, it looks like I'll be driving down to NYC and seeing what happens. Its a bit annoying though. I'd hate to drive all that distance and find out that she double booked or isn't in the office. I've emailed her several times and no response. So frustrating.

It was great to come home and find the email last night though. I had had one of those days. I talked to BP, who is the hiring manager for this job I interviewed for Sept 26th. Making it over two months ago now. And there has been no decision made on what they are doing. I understand that people are busy, but really? Two months? And I had to work the late night shift at the store - 4-1am. UGH. At various points in the night I was just so down. Wondering if I'd ever get a job and make it to NYC. So, it made my night to come home to the email. That combined with another email of invitation to join up with a group of girls in the city... I fell asleep happy and more optimistic than I've been in weeks. Hopefully this works out tomorrow and there is some level of success. I'd love to be able to start the new year off with a new job and a new place and truly get that new start option.

And look, I'm making great progress on my latest project!

Its actually significantly longer, seeing as I took the photo before the work I did on it yesterday. It looks like I have to head back out for more yarn though, as I didn't look at the pattern closely enough to find out how much yarn I needed first. Ooops... :-/

And I get to go visit DC again next week. A friend is on tour with Avenue Q which is there for two weeks. It will be nice to go to an old home and hit some of my favorite restaurants. And hang out and be social.

Nothing

I've got nothing tonight.

I spent my day cooking a tasty meat sauce. I read a book. And made some progress on my scarf.

I'm thinking too much about the job search though. I'm in a bit of a negative place today. Which is hard. I want success. And I'm sick of waiting for it. The longer I wait for it, the more I start to wonder if maybe I'm looking in the wrong place. But I don't know where else to look either. You'd think I'd at least have some idea if I were looking in the wrong place.

Back to the knitting. Its keeping my mind occupied, and releasing some of my stress.

Impatience

I can't look at another box. I spent my weekend working, which entailed unpacking boxes to prep for the big shipment that arrives tomorrow. Unfortunately, much of the stock comes in with the wrong price on it. Which makes the job very tedious. A week before I have to go back though.

Its making me realize how much I long for a real job again. I'd even take the stress of my summer job over this.

I miss having my own space. Not having to talk to someone before my morning coffee. Being able to walk in the door and decompress on my own, and not answer the question of how was your day? what did you do? etc. I do love my parents, and am beyond grateful that they are here for me, but after so many years of living on the other side of the country, I miss my space. I like the concept of being close enough to visit more often, but living under the same roof is going to test me.

Hopefully tomorrow will yield much progress on one of my scarfs. Its supposed to be rainy, so a perfect day for curling up with some hot chocolate and being productive!

Happy Thanksgiving

I hate the let down at the end of the day of a holiday. There is such a build up to the celebration... cooking, creating, gathering. And then, you (or your guests) have to return home. That part always makes me a bit sad. I'm a social creature, and I hate to see fun times end. But even more so on those special days.

I hope your celebrations were full of good times and no family dramas. And lots of good pie!

And as an update, the dairy, gluten and sugar free pumpkin cheesecake came out fabulously. It was tasty, and good for you!

Accomplished

Today was the first snow around my parents place. It didn't amount to much, but it was fun to watch the flakes fall for an hour or so this afternoon.

I've accomplished a lot in the last day or so.

My sweater has a sleeve. Just one, but its getting closer to being done.

I made apple butter for the first time, and canned 7 jars of it. First time canning too! It was quite tasty on some toast for lunch. And it made my kitchen smell amazing all day.

The dough for all the pie crusts has been made for tomorrow. The cold of the house was actually a good thing for this task. I think the dough came together better than it ever has before.

I created a dairy free, gluten free, sugar free pumpkin cheesecake. The batter was quite tasty, so I am fully optimistic for the actual cheesecake. It included a homemade ginger cookie crust. The cookies were good, but the rice flour gave them and odd grainy texture. I don't think I could eat them straight, but I think they'll work well as a crust.

I cast on and started a new scarf for my sister in law. Its my first attempt at cables. I've had to rip out once, backing up about 6 rows. Its a little bit difficult, but mostly that's because I'm a tight knitter, and the tension of crossing the stitches makes it hard to knit them. I'm trying to concentrate on not pulling the stitches so tight, but not much luck yet. Any one have any clues?

Life itself remains confusing. I've found odd patches of comfort in various things though. I know that sooner or later this will all work out and I will return to New York and my dreams. I keep moving forward on this path and keep trying to find joy in the small things. I'm enjoying the chance to read what others are going through, finding strength in the oddest of phrases and ideas. The internet is truly great in how in manages to connect us all.

Deconstructed Apple Cake, and new yarn!

The food adventures of the day were numerous.

A trip to whole foods yielded new ingredients that I've never used before. Xylitol, soy cream cheese, brown rice flour and rice syrup. I sure hope that these new ingredients make tasty concoctions when subsituted for all the things I normally use.

The attempt at apple cake yielded less than stellar results. I think the carton of eggs was partly to blame, and the adjustments I made to the recipe to accomodate the lack of cream, and not wanting to use more than 3 eggs, after I had already used two full sticks of butter. So I substituted buttermilk for the cream, which shouldn't have been that major of a change. And two egg yolks didn't seem like that much to subtract when I already had three included. It took a bit longer to cook than the recipe called for but I've used so many different ovens lately, I didn't think anything of that. The real issue was when I tried to get the cake out of the pan, and only half of it unmolded onto the cooling rack. It tastes pretty good, but it looks horrid. Good thing its just for sharing with my parents. And having the kitchen disaster over with, the rest of the Thanksgiving cooking should go along smoothly.

I also picked up some new yarn today. I made a mistake on the scarf I was working on that was to be a present. Because of the pattern I'm using and knitting one below every other row, it made backing up a bit tricker than I imagined. So I dropped a couple of stitches, and the perfectionist in me can't give a gift with a mistake in it. (Ok, ok, I was trying to justify making the scarf mine.... but I swear I didn't sit on the project and knock the stitches off the needles intentially!) I made the mistake of going to the craft store, and decided that I'd add another project to my pile. Its time to attempt a cable! So, now my sister in law will get a cabled scarf in a charchol grey Chunky Shetland something or other... It just said cable me! Now I have to finish the sleve for the sweater so I can use the needle its on....

Kitchen Adventures

Right now there are a few kitchen adventures on my plate. It has always been my mother's duty to provide the pies for Thanksgiving dessert. As I became the cook, I've taken over the roll of baker. Especially cause I've gone the extra mile and don't believe in anything that isn't homemade... which includes the crust. Someday I'll figure out how to make it look as good as it tastes.

But the adventures/challenges...

#1 my brother's mother in law has allergies. Which means no sugar, no gluten, no dairy. All key ingredients in dessert. I'm thinking a vegan pumpkin cheesecake. Soycake? With a gluten and sugar free gingersnap crust. I've found a couple of options, now for the trip to Whole Foods (like I need an excuse for that) to get all the right ingredients.

#2 The gigantic bag of apples that mom bought the other day, in order to make the pies. Granted, it was only $2 more for about 4 pounds more, but the apples have started to spoil. There will be apple pie, and apple cake, and I think apple butter, which will be my first attempt at canning. There seems to be no recipes to make a single portion of this perseve... perhaps mom will want to give apple butter as Christmas gifts?

An update later on the progress.

Another Saturday night, and I ain't got...

For some reason, no matter how tired I am, I hate Saturday nights at home. They feel like the night you are supposed to be out doing something. Socializing with friends, sharing a movie, meal or cocktial (or all of the above), or just doing something beyond sitting at home. I spent most of my day at work - 8 hours behind a cash register with everything in the store on sale - but despite this fact, I wish I had something exciting to fill my evening.

Alas, its just me and alternating between the tv, book, and internet, and accompanied by some hot apple cider and a couple of cookies.

Hope your Saturday nights are more interesting than mine.

Angry all the time

So much of my life gets associated with songs. I hear something on the radio and it reminds me of parts of my life or people in my life. Not long ago, a friend I reminised of the songs from our college days. The pre-gaming songs we'd blast as we showered and got ready to go out for the evening. Memories of chumbawamba, spice girls, barbie girl, and baha men... and so many other cheesy party songs the late 90s had to offer. I'm wondering when the 90s nights at the clubs and bars are going to start?

I got in my car today and heard one of the songs from our summer run across and around the country. It had me feeling nostolgic for all the people that I spent every day with, had dinner with every night, and saw me at worst moments. (but then again, who looks good after four hours of sleep for the third day in a row and before their morning cup of coffee). I don't know when I may see these people again, but they are the people that when your paths cross, you always remember fondly. I miss the audio and video boys, the people who added laughs to my days, the Shotgun Rider sing along around the video consoles, and yes, part of me even misses rethreading the bolts every morning.

Yet as much as I can think fondly back on the memories, I am more than ready for this new path to start. As the number of days continues to grow, part of me wonders if I'm looking in the right place for this new path. Am I looking hard enough? Am I looking at the right jobs? The right city? The nagging doubts of my mind surface every now and then. I never felt more at home than I did wandering New York City, though. That has to count for something... and maybe this is all about getting yet another lesson in patience.

Results=Nothing

Why is it so very hard for me to find a full time job? It seems like I've sent hundreds of resumes out, with so few results. I'm skilled, I have a solid education, I think I'm a pretty damn wonderful person (at least most of the time), but it's so hard to get that across on a resume and through a cover letter. I'm not looking for the perfect job any more, just something... something that will pay me decently.

I'm still waiting to hear on an interview I had over 6 weeks ago now. I've followed up countless time, each time hearing that I was still on their radar screen, they'd just not had the chance to meet with the boss. And its for a job I'd love to have. But at this point, I'm getting so discouraged from the whole search. Granted, there is nothing to do, but keep at it and continue sending resumes and resumes and more resumes. And wishing on every star I see, every candle I blow out, and every other superstition you can imagine.

I thought that the meetings I had with the staffing agencies would have more results. I was mistaken there so far, as I've not even heard about a potential interview.

I miss New York so. And yes, I think I may continue to harp on this point until I am back there. It is one of those cities you just fall in love with I suppose. Fall in love, I did. I started over there, re-discovered myself, and I can't wait to be back and truly on my own there. I want to enjoy the holidays there. See Rockafeller Center all decorated. Skate on the rink in Central Park. Christmas shop on Fifth Avenue. I hope its not just a dream, but a soon to be reality.

Craving Pumpkin

I think its the cold weather here in New England that has me craving pumpkin. Or those fabulous pumpkin cookies I picked up a few weeks ago when I wandered through the Central Park Pumpkin Festival. They were almost cake like, soft with a bit of spice to them. So, after some internet searching, I decided to attempt to recreate my own version this afternoon. Armed with a few ideas, and plenty of past experiences, I ad-libbed my first baking recipe! I needed that good feeling today, the smell of fresh baked goods in the oven, and the warm moist cookies taste fabulous. I think next time I'll up the spices a bit, add more nutmeg and ginger, perhaps some ground cloves too. But for this time around, they are just what I was looking for.


Spiced Pecan Pumpkin Oatmeal Cookies

1 stick of unsalted butter
1 cup dark brown sugar
1 egg
1 cup pumpkin puree
1 teaspoon cinimon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon cinamon
1 1/2 cups Old Fashioned Oats
1 cup all purpose flour
Two or three handfuls chopped pecans

Cream the butter and sugar together. Add the egg and mix until incorporated. Add pumpkin, vanilla, and spices. Mix until thoroughly combined, making sure to scape down sides of the bowl. Add flour and oatmeal, mix until just combined. Stir in chopped nuts. Drop by spoonful onto parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Cook at 350 until browned, about 10-12 minutes.

Another day, another dollar

It was one of those days. Strange dreams woke me this morning, and left me feeling alone and empty. Missing someone who became a big part of my life almost over night, and now, although still a part of my life, seems to have moved themselves to the periphery. They are a bit incommunicado these past few days, which has me caught off guard. And is highly uncharacteristic.

So I decided to go shopping... I had a pair of boots to return, and I wanted to try and get some christmas gifts. I made the mistake of going to the store I work in though. As soon as my boss saw me, she told me to go ahead and punch in. It was a holiday, so time and half is always a bonus, and it kept me busy and not thinking too much.

I'm so anxious to hear from some where in New York. I miss the city so much. I miss the subway and not needing my car. I miss having my social groups to go out with. I read an article today that stated that Thanksgiving was only 10 days away. Combined with the dreams this morning, it hit me hard that although I know I will get back to New York, it might be a whole lot longer than I want it to be. The holiday season isn't exactly the best time of year to get hired. Maybe I'll have luck. I hope I'll have luck. I'm so anxious to make this next path of life work out. Cross your fingers for me.

Part Time Jobs

So my period of complete downtime has come to an end. I started my part time job this weekend. I'm working weekends, at the outlets near my parents house. And trying really hard to not spend my entire paycheck at the store. Which I think is going to be the hardest part about this job.

That and not dropping peoples plates or glasses when I go to wrap them.

So far the casualties due to my clumsiness have been two bottles of vanilla. At least no one can be mad when I make the air smell like fresh baked goodies.

I'm getting rapidly sick of sleeping on the air mattress as well. For some reason it makes my limbs fall asleep.

So far my first winter (although its not even really winter yet) isn't too cold. I do need to get working on the scarf I'm making though. But I'm thinking I may keep it for myself rather than gift it, cause I think it will match my new coat spectacularly. I'm definately going to miss my knitting group while I'm at home. Its so hard to focus on knitting when its so cold in my parents house. I miss having that dedicated time to focus on my project. And people that were expecting to see progress at the next weeks meeting.

Welcome to my space... No, not myspace... although I'm addicted to that too...

In the past few weeks, I've gotten addicted to reading blogs. I guess with changing so many things in my life right about now, its nice to read what's going on with others. And In the process of everything that is going on, I've found myself writing more and more. Thus I decided to start a blog and see what happens.

I'm trying to move to New York City (from Las Vegas) - and spent the last two months living there - where job searching has yet to yeild any good results. Who can live on $10/hr in that city??? I'm finally working with some staffing agencies, so maybe there will be results soon on that front. And there is still is that one interview that is taking forever to make up their minds. At this point, its been over 6 weeks. Isn't New York supposed to move faster?

I'm single for the first time in 4 years. Another huge change.

I'm looking for a new career path. While my last job was great, the stress of traveling the US with a rock show seemed a bit much at this point in my path. I need more sleep than it allowed me. And the chance to perhaps use more of the educaiton I spent so much money on.

So, with all this going on, there's lots to say. In fact the friend who is a doctor told me perhaps I should have just changed one variable, as opposed to three. But, what fun is that? Go big or go home, right?

So here it is, a chronicle of job searching, soon to be followed by apartment searching. Interspersed with cooking, knitting and reading... perhaps you'll find some funny tidbit or have some advice and support to offer.

And now to focus on the scarf that's on my needles....